sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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