She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
