Its about making memories worth repressing
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
