Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
