shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
