I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
