Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
