yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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