She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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