I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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