Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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