let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
