well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
