I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
