it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
