man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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