i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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