im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
