The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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