Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We left the knife in your bed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
