i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
