We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
