Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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