You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
