I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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