Fuck appropriateness.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
