took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
