pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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