if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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