To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
