Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
