There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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