may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
