you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
