Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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