Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
3 2 1 whiskey
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
