I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
