i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
3pm strippers are depressing
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
