I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
