If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
