her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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