I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
