He is such a slut. More and more my type.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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