go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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