At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
