I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is the high leading the old right now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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