bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
