it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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