sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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