I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
